I have been ambivalent about writing this post but for some reason it has lingered in the back of my mind and I think it might be best to give it some space so here goes nothing.
You might have noticed it was World Mental Health day on Wednesday. Social media was awash with everyone sharing their stories and fears. I really hope it also broke down the stigma and made people aware just how many people suffer and how this invisible disease can effect anyone.
I know I have dealt with some ugly demons in the last few years and it can feel suffocating and lonely. Depression, anxiety, self doubt, fear, eating disorder and panic attacks can seem like friends in the fact that when one arrives it often accompanied with another.
What I really wanted to talk about are the heroes that helped me tackled my issues. It is an ongoing process but I can not thank the NHS staff enough for all their support and help. I was lucky to have a someone listen and help break the often vicious thought process. I undertook a CBT course which I can not rave enough about. I will even add that I missed my therapist and our time together. It was an hour a week where I had someone listen to me and where I listened to myself.
Now this course of treatment helped me and along with other routines helped me create a more positive perspective. I know that this isn't for everyone but I wanted to stress that people are here for you and you are not alone. Together we can help find options which work for you. The NHS website has a list of organisations you can contact to start the ball rolling.
I am lucky to have a fabulous bunch of friends who always make time for me and lift me up when my mood is low or I feel beaten. I will forever be grateful. I also find yoga has helped me both mentally and physically. I can not think of a better way to start the day, okay maybe throw a coffee in the equation. My good friend Kenny P told me one day many years ago when I first moved to London and was overwhelmed with life that it is all about baby steps. Baby steps has always resonated with me, small simple routines will slowly created change which helped give me my confidence and independence back.
So while I have written an essay I apologise. I just wanted to share my experience especial as we all can put on a brave public face even if we are more vulnerable in real life. Never judge a book by a cover and always treat others the way you would like to be treated. These are the words I try to live by. Don't worry 'normal' content will resume next week!
weekly musing from Rosalind Alcazar Photography